Back in the 1970s, I did my best to stay out of the water. First, it was never easy to find a uncrowded beach in Brooklyn, and second, JAWS was in the water. I knew he was in Jersey and it would take him a few hours at least to get down to my beach, but why take a chance? I never understood why he was terrorizing so many people in New Jersey. All New Yorkers knew that nobody went to Jersey for any reason, so where did all those people on the beach he was eating come from?
This week, I have two more reasons to stay out of the water and it has nothing to do with the issues related to oil.
1) 40-ton southern right whale lands on yacht and swims away. That’s leaving the scene of an accident buddy and CSI: South Africa will find you – you can’t hide among the plankton, we know that ages-old trick.
2) Four never before discovered species of octopus–as well as venom that remains effective at sub-zero temperatures–have been located by researchers. Do the Ice Road Truckers know this before they get out of their vehicles? Sweet potate pie! I cannot even go to the Antarctic to escape their venom? I do not like the sound of this at all. Last quote of the article sent a chill up my spine: “Nature has designed a perfect killing weapon …” Are they talking about Chuck Norris or the octopus?
Well, there you have it. Wildlife of the sea are bent on our ultimate destruction. It was bound to happen at some point. Another fond memory of my childhood beach days was when there would be a jellyfish “invasion” and hundreds of people would get stung. Between the jellyfish and Jaws, I had pretty much given up all hope of aquatics. 30 years later, just as I was becoming comfortable with the idea of watching shows on cable tv with water related themes, whales and octopus are plotting their revenge once again.
One day next week we will see one of these headlines: “Family Musselled to Death in Gulf Waters”, “Crabtastrophy on the Coast”, “Spongebob was really a spy for Coral Reefs”.
Here we are trying to support Coral Reef Conservation and the deep blue turns agianst us.
I am going to go hide under my desk now. That was what we did in elementary school when there was a threat of nuclear war, it saved me then and it should save me now. That and I am 40 miles from any deep body of water.
